Thursday, March 20, 2014

family tree

I have a picture that I want to share with you.  I don't know if I've even mentioned my "second family" shame on me!  I am a nanny to two children who mean the world to me, I've watched them both grow since they were babies.  I won't share their names because I haven't asked permission yet.  The little girl drew her family tree for school this year.  Yesterday I saw her artwork for the first time and it brought me to tears.

I feel guilty for not letting these kids see me cry because I don't want to make them sad or upset.  But I think the fact of the matter is, I might be doing them a disservice when I hide my tears.  I don't want them to grow up wondering why I never cried when my son died.  Even thought that is the complete opposite of the truth, that is what they see.  So I let myself cry in front of her when I saw this picture…

From left to right- John-Michael in the grey, baby Jaxon, me, and our dog Cooper.  Doesn't this just bring you to tears?!?

She was so compassionate, she put her arm around me and started rubbing my back.  She didn't say anything to try and make it better, she was just there.  And that means the world.  Don't try to make it better with your words because you just can't.  Usually something awkward or stupid comes out and you make it worse.  We can all learn something from a child, and this little girl's innocent compassion blew me out of the water yesterday.  I am blessed.

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